DUMB-ASS CHILDREN’S PRODUCTS, PART III: Look, Kids! Big, Big Dick!

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So I’m at the pediatrician’s office on Friday, reading aloud to the boys from the book the 3 year old found in the rack…I was just going to throw this picture up on Facebook and leave it at that, but I couldn’t choose a caption.

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Here are some thoughts on this literary jewel, in no particular order:

1. Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! On SO many levels.

2. Anyone still wondering why Dick and Jane seem to have lost their popularity? I would think it might be hard to sell a book that a parent couldn’t read to their child. At least, not with a straight face. Followed by a BS explanation as to why mommy is alternately snorting and clutching her gut.

3. Is this the way the doctor’s office staff entertains itself? “Hey guys, come here, quick! She’s just about to get to the good part…” snicker, snicker.

4. The authors – really? That had to be intentional, right? Could someone have written this unknowingly? It’s not like the meaning came about recently.

dick (n.) Look up dick at Dictionary.com“fellow, lad, man,” 1550s, rhyming nickname for Rick, short for Richard, one of the commonest English names, it has long been a synonym for “fellow,” and so most of the slang senses are probably very old, but naturally hard to find in the surviving records. The meaning “penis” is attested from 1891 in Farmer’s slang dictionary (possibly British army slang). Meaning “detective” is recorded from 1908, perhaps as a shortened variant of detective.

5. The editor –  yes, I know the book is about a guy named “Dick”, ha ha, and I know the little ones won’t ‘get’ it. But c’mon, buddy, you have to draw the line somewhere. A ‘big, big” line, in some cases. Though generally not on a big, big…forget it…

6. I was having lunch with the family today, and I was thinking about what I wanted to write about this, and apparently I had a weird expression on my face, because my husband looked at me and said, “What?” And I wasn’t sure what to say, because I could hardly tell him, “Oh nothing, honey, I was just thinking about ‘big big dick.'”
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I know, it’s just too easy, right? So, go at it in the comments below…

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Dumb-Ass Children’s Products, Part I: Have a Heart, Thomas

DUMB-ASS CHILDREN’S PRODUCTS, Part II: WTF, Fisher-Price?

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Posted on September 29, 2013, in Family, Humor, List, Musings, Parenting, Rant, Toddlers, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. 1891?? So, even when this was written, in the 50s or whatever, they knew that was inappropriate? WTF!

    • I can only imagine they were better at keeping straight faces…or maybe they were more mature than I…on the other hand, maybe they were also snickering at what they could get away with…

  2. I recall these from when they were textbooks. Really excellent art. My grandson received one from his other grandma a few years back. Now he is eleven and will laugh if he comes across it..

  3. No, seriously. It was a whole series of texts. Fun With Dick and Jane.

  4. My mom remembers learning from these books. It’s amazing that people from that generation still enjoy reading.

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