Monthly Archives: May 2013
This week’s topic: 10 Things I Love That Cost Nothing
My spin: The Early Parenting Years
1. Getting a phone call from my mom at 6:20 in the morning asking if I’m aware that the toddler has my iPad and is Skyping her. (I wasn’t…)
3. The sweet smell of the air in the room I’m in when the toddler insists that “Daddy change me!”
4. Collapsing in bed at 7:31 PM.
5. Sleeping past 6:01 AM.
6. Numbers 4 & 5 on consecutive days.
8. The enchanting glow of the 400 LEDs in my bedroom (clock, cable box, other clock, stereo, phone, humidifier, etc.) that, sometimes, keeps my from tripping over the dog and baby toys when I get up to pee in the middle of the night.
9. Leftovers, and my gratefulness that everyone in my family eats them willingly.
10. These smiles:
It’s been a busy week, and I’m feeling a little lazy after my soon-to-be-three-year-old’s birthday party, so let’s start out with some Facebook status updates:
Just found an effing spider in my sheets. Now I’m gonna have to find somewhere else to sleep for the rest of my life.
I just hurt my elbow on a block of cheddar. That’s gotta deserve some kind of award.
I always feel guilty when I steal the last pair of socks from my husband’s drawer. So now when I do the laundry, I just put them in mine.
I just found myself having a conversation with a 3 year old about ‘why’ you shouldn’t flush the toilet while someone else is sitting on it. Happy Monday, everyone.
When AJ was 2, he called Shaws the “cookie store” (the bakery gives kids free cookies), and BJs the “sticker store” (the receipt checker gives out stickers). He’s matured since then. Now his favorite grocery stores are Bee-gees, the Big YMCA and Wal-nut.
I take pride in my ability to make a delicious meal out of leftovers. Today, it was a salad with chopped up steak, crumbled blue cheese, half a red skin potato, creamy dressing and a side of snap peas. The three year old, once again following in my footsteps, also constructed a meal of leftovers. He had half a hamburger, a slew of snap peas, and a side of cinnamon-sugar pretzel dipped in ketchup. Delish.
I learned how to use picmonkey.com to make a pinnable image over at You’re My Favorite Today, and utilized that knowledge to head my post about how the toddler called bullshit on me, and then proved it with photographic evidence:
I also learned from Grudgemom how to make a badge for my blog, in the hopes that someone will want to grab it for their blogroll *hint, hint*:
Oh, and then I discovered a great hand sanitizer on amazon.com…this is a real product, folks. You can buy it here…And it comes in several varieties:
- Pee-Pee Poo-Poo Hand Sanitizer
- What The Hell Hand Sanitizer
- Anal Traveler Hand Sanitizer
- Ew. Hand Sanitizer
- Wait – Was That Slutty? Hand Sanitizer
- You Nasty Hand Sanitizer
- Take A Sick Day Asshole Hand Sanitizer
- Thanks For Scooping My Poop Hand Sanitizer
- Germbo Hand Sanitizer
- Germ-a-phobe Hand Sanitizer
- Dog Slobber Hand Sanitizer
- OCD Hand Sanitizer
- I Heart My Penis Hand Sanitizer
- Bitch Slap Those Germs Hand Sanitizer
- Cleaner Than Shit Hand Sanitizer
My husband, Tom, who usually telecommutes, was out of town for three days. AJ, 3 years old, was moping about saying “My Daddy gooooooooonnnnnne” so pathetically that he had people wondering if he’d been half-orphaned. I spent a good part of those three days conquering Mount Laundry, so it should have been no surprise that, the morning following Tom’s return, AJ commanded me to “Go do some laundry. Want breakfast with daddy.”
I pretended to make an omelet, but not. (See ingredients pictured to the right. Nom nom nom.) Y’know when you’re making eggs and you hold the pan and roll your wrist, and watch the eggs solidify as they hit the pan surface? Same but different.
Then, on Friday night, there were the Chinese Food Wars. Versus a Chinese Food fight, which can be reeeaaally bad when lobster sauce is involved… It started when I called my mom…
Me: Do you and Dad want to come for dinner?
Mom: What are you having?
Mom: From where?
Me: From that place you pass on your way here…?
Later, after my Dad had placed the order, I called the restaurant and had them put the order on my credit card. It was the least I could do…I was getting free delivery service…
Dad and Mom showed up with the food an hour later, and Dad handed me my receipt.
Yeah, I know, a whole family of wise-asses.
Even the baby and the dog have their moments, like when they re-enacted that scene from Young Frankenstein…?
Doggy: Let me in! Let me in!
Baby: Let me out! Let me out!
And I ended the week on a good note:
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