Weenies, Toilets, and Eating Ourselves, Recap WE 3-23

Sunday brought us to BJs for some shopping. They had those sample carts out, and one of them kept moving around the store, so the toddler managed to finagle 3 samples of ‘Brownie Brittle’ in a 20 minute trip.

Monday,

  • The baby found his reflection in a glass door and tried to eat it.
  • The toddler drank the ramekin of water I gave him for watercolor painting.
  • I cancelled the subscription to Future Rocket Scientists Weekly.

Meanwhile, back in the Hall of Justice, the toddler refused to nap, knocked down the gate in front of his room and rejoiced in his freedom. But the joke was on him, as he was trapped on the second floor and all the doors (except his) have child-proofed handles. After nap time, we learned that fate can be cruel, because it seems the baby has learned to crawl at exactly the same time that the toddler has developed an interest in building tall precarious structures.

We ended the day with a lesson in semantics. As we prepared for tubby time…

i2tacoAJ: Mommy, I need take my dress off!

Me: You need to take your dress off? Or you need to get undressed? Because there’s kind of a big difference…

On Tuesday, I conveniently found myself at the grocery store buying haddock for dinner. I say convenient because it just happened to be around lunchtime and I just happened to pass by a Taco Bell…

I also posted about how I (try to) keep the kids awake in the car in those last few critical minutes before arriving home around nap time, even if that means playing Toddler Whac-A-Mole.

We went to Mimi’s house (that would be my mom) on Wednesday, but not before I had to tell the older child not to use the younger child as a piñata. Like his shirt? Really captures the moment…

pinata

On Thursday, I added a new post, 15 Totally Useless Products That I Would Buy Just to Aggravate People, a.k.a. Passive-Aggressive Crappy Gift Giving, and this one was a fan favorite:

Weenie Roaster

Weenie Roaster

Friday, I got concerned about the strange noises emanating from my napping toddler’s room. So I poked my head in and was greeted by the sight of a pillowcase shrouded toddler, legs and feet visible, calling “Ohhhhhh Toooooodles!” until he heard my startled guffaw. Which of course, ended the “nap.”

I got a ‘worthy of mention’ on one of my all-time favorite blogs, MommyShorts.com. She had requested fan submissions for the titles of our personal memoirs, should we ever publish them. My entry, Give Me The iPad & Get Out of The Dog Crate: Toddler Rearing at Its Finest, made the list of  ‘24 Hilarious Momoir Titles: Reader Edition’. Click here to see all of the entries:

“EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT PARENTING, I LEARNED FROM GOOGLE” AND 24 OTHER HILARIOUSLY TITLED MOMOIRS

Southern News & Pictures (SNAP)(Brighton) 07976-504832 / pictures@snapitnow.co.uk / www.snapitnow.co.ukSaturday brought us to target, where AJ insisted the he neeeeeeeeeeeeeds a skateboard. I found his hysterics unconvincing and trusted my gut that 2-year-olds and skateboards are a really bad combo. I also came up with a new slogan – TARGET: Your  Favorite Toddler Meltdown Destination.

I added a post called ‘Potty Humor. Literally.‘ in honor of my crappy mood. It cheered me up.

And that’s about it. Until next week when I tell you about the hat with erectile dysfunction. Have a great week and stay tuned…

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Anything fun happen this week that you’d like to share?

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Posted on March 24, 2013, in Family, Humor, Parenting, Random, Toddlers, Writing. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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