Dumb-Ass Children’s Products, Part I: Have a Heart, Thomas

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Really? What??? Really? I started reading this book out loud to my toddler. I choked out the last sentence of the second paragraph and then tried to change his focus. “Want to read trucks now?” A sure winner.

When did publishers stop using editors? “Hey, as long as it rhymes and has a picture of Thomas…to hell with logic!” How badly did they need to fill that page? Was the author getting paid by the sentence??? For pete’s sake! If they loved the poem that much, they could have just eliminated the second stanza and straightened some italics, and it would have been fine…or at least passable.

Wow. Does anyone else have a problem with this? Please tell me it isn’t just me. Seriously, leave a comment, I’d love to know what you think. Wow. Not that I’m claiming that I would have done better, but a) I’m not getting paid to write, and b) my only editor is a dotted red line under my words. And c) I would have done better. At the age of four.

I’d like to conclude this rant with a poem that would have been a less sarcastic and more profound, more beautiful way of getting to my point. Also, I just kind of like it. Oh yeah, my point… Let’s raise our standards, publisher people. If a child lives with illogic (and crappy writing)…

Children Learn What They Live (1959) by Dorothy L. Law

If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn . . .
If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight . . .
If a child lives with fear, he learns to be apprehensive . . .
If a child lives with pity, he learns to feel sorry for himself . . .
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy . . .
If a child lives with jealousy, he learns to feel guilt . . .

BUT

If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient . . .
If a child lives with encouragement, he learns to be confident . . .
If a child lives with praise, he learns to be appreciative . . .
If a child lives with acceptance, he learns to love . . .
If a child lives with honesty, he learns what truth is . . .
If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice . . .
If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith in himself and those about him . . .
If a child lives with friendlienss(sic), he learns the world is a nice place in which to live . . .

WITH WHAT IS YOUR CHILD LIVING?

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Posted on January 11, 2013, in Humor, Parenting, Rant. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

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